The question ‘how are you?’ is such a superficial question.
“How’s your heart?” he asks as he focuses on the road.
I blink, taken aback. I look at him with a blank face, my thoughts disappearing and my heart beating fast.
How long has it been since I was asked this question? I wonder.
His question was one I’ve heard far too many times, and all in the same place: the church. How every Sunday in the oh-so-holy pews we ask ourselves how our heart is, where our heart is, is our heart in the right place. Everything relating to the heart, when we know it really means “How are you and how does that affect your relationship with God?” This question is beautiful, complex, and terrifying to answer in a religious setting. To hear it from him, someone who doubts the existence of a higher being, baffled me and caught me in a chokehold I had trouble processing.
I look at him as he focuses on the road. When he notices my silence with his question, he explains — his eyes still on the road, but his attention still on me.
“The question ‘how are you?’ is such a superficial question. It’s surface-level. You can answer with a simple word, a nod, a smile, a thumbs up, or ignore the question even and end it at that. ‘How are you?’ is a failed attempt on trying to ask the state of the question, when we all know it will just end with an ‘I’m fine’ with a smile on their face, and we’d be too superficial as well to notice if the smile reaches their eyes or not.
“The question, ‘how’s your heart?’ though, is such a deep and impending question. It requires you to look and think about what has been going on in your life lately. Or what has been this burden that you need to get off your chest lately. Or maybe there is no burden, and everything is right in your world and your heart isn’t beating fast in anxiety, trying to keep up with your overthinking thoughts for once. It’s a similar question to ‘what keeps you up at night?’ or ‘what preoccupies your thoughts these days?’”
Huh. I thought. I relax on the seat as I continue to ask myself that thought.
how is my heart?
what keeps me up at night?
what preoccupies my thoughts during the day?
I’m rewiring my thinking on the statement how is your heart isn’t a question that’s reserved only for Christians. This question shouldn’t have an underlying question, really not asking about you, but asking how is your relationship with God. The intention is good, but what if it causes harm as well?
The question how is your heart is a beautiful way of asking,
what has been weighing on you lately?
what has been heavy on your chest?
Back then, I always associated it with something related to the Christian faith. But it turns out, it can be a question that is meant for anyone. Whether you believe in a higher being, or whether you don’t.
It is a question that is meant for you, and only you can interpret it in the way your heart desires.
So, how are you?
Or rather, how is your heart?
