I Refuse to Believe This is God’s Will

For now, please let me be angry.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I have seen people mention in social media to simply “Accept this is God’s will.” Every time I see this, I shake my head, roll my eyes and scoff at the sentence I just read.

I am well versed in the Bible. I have had my ups and downs in my journey with Christ. I know He has a plan. I know He is in control. But at this moment, allow me to raise my voice, shake my fist, and cry out in anger.

Because I know that the God I believe in hates the crooked — and He cannot stand those who oppress the poor — I refuse to accept He will let a murderer lead this country. Because I am convinced that the God I worship is an advocate of justice, I refuse to believe that it is Him who has placed a fascist in the Malacañang. Because I know the God I trust will never leave the helpless behind, I refuse to accept that a man who has stolen millions from this country will rule this nation.

So for now, while my biblical knowledge assures me of who my God is, as a Filipino who loves her country, give me to the space to first process the grief. Let me first scream against the heavens. Allow me first to question His plans. Give me the space (for now) to cry against the events happening around us.

Because while I know God has a plan, I am also aware that He will not abandon the motherless behind. He will not let the poor be treated unjustly. And he will not leave the wicked unpunished.

So for now, while I process what is happening, and before I accept what has happened, let me first to stand against the authorities. Allow me to be the voice of the voiceless and to stand for those who are unable to. Give me the space to fight for my country.

Because just as it might be God’s plan for the dictator’s son to lead the country, it is also His desire for His people to help the oppressed, to be the light in the darkness, and to call out the injustices against the Philippines.

There will be a day when I sigh in defeat. There will be a day when I will say, “This is God’s will” in muttered acceptance. But before the day comes, please let me scream against the heavens. Allow me first to question His plan. For now, please let me be angry.

Grieving will only last through the night. Rejoicing will come.

The God I believe in, the God who demands justice and the God who has placed and destroyed leaders, said this Himself. And this is what I hope for my motherland.

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Fayth Ong

Fayth Ong

A Filipino writer speaking against the injustices of what is happening in the Philippines.